A letter to my friends

Dear friends,
You may be wondering what has happened to your friend, Milissa, since Christmas.  I know that many of you have tried to contact me via email, facebook, and phone messages.  You see,  I feel like I have been running on "survival mode" for a few months now, trying to maintain work, family church.  And it is not sustainable.  As I peruse your blogs and facebook profiles, I realize how much of your lives I have missed lately, trying to maintain my own. 

A few weeks ago, I decided to give my notice at work (teaching kindergarten at Langley Christian School) for next year.  It was a very hard decision to make, and I will miss the staff and family community immensely.  But, as many of you know, Aida, who is now 4, has never consistently slept through the night.  She is a very light sleeper and is plagued with nightmares and night terrors.  When Jay and I look back over our year, her sleeping is at its worst when I am at my busiest.  Then, the whole family is sleep-deprived, Jay and I are not as efficient as we could be, we have less time for the girls, and then Aida's sleep gets worse.  It is a vicious cycle.  The reality is that I need a job that I can just do, come home, and switch to mommy-mode without having to worry about the job on my days off. 

Later on, when I look back at this time in my life, I want to be able to say I was the best mom I could be to my girls given the circumstances of our lives.  When I frame it this way, it is an easy decision.   So, next September is up in the air.  I am not sure where/what I will be doing, but I feel complete peace about this decision.  I know God will provide a job and wants what's best for our family, too.

I miss you, my friends!  Thank you for your patience.  I am fortunate to have friends that I know will still be there when I emerge from my hole.  And I intend to emerge soon - summer holidays are a little over a month away, then watch out!  Milissa's back!  Almost.